a little bit of home sickness.

Yesterday, as I was driving in Lincoln to get to a yoga workshop, I wanted to scream in frustration.  I try my best to be open-minded and see the positive in everything (including the lovely, quaint city of Lincoln, NE), but sometimes driving here makes me wants to punch something hard.  For those of you who do not live here or have never visited Lincoln, let me tell you a little something about the streets... They suck! 

I have had this conversation many times with my husband... Lincoln does not have a loop or beltway, though it desperately needs one.  According to Adam, the city council (or whoever decides on these things) missed the opportunity to build one.  As a result, many of the major streets in Lincoln are one-laners with stop lights every 15 feet and it takes me approximately 40 minutes (on a good day) to get from one side of town to the other.  For those of you who live in bigger cities, you are probably thinking "so what." Well to me, Lincoln is not that big.  In fact, it has taken less time for me to get around in Omaha.  On top of that, Nebraska winters usually do a number on the asphalt and concrete streets, so everywhere you turn is a road closure due to construction. 

So back to yesterday, as I was driving to this yoga workshop (running late as usual), stuck behind an out-of-towner going 10 under the speed limit (I know this because NE license plates identify the county you live in by numbers) and I had a severe bout of homesickness.  This has happened other times, too.  I still can't establish the link between my homesickness and frustration with Lincoln traffic.  However, despite the lack of connection between the two, I had a very melancholy Sunday.

For individuals who grew up elsewhere, I have come to understand that it is hard for you to comprehend why Texans love their state so much.  I don't have much of an explanation for you other than we love it just because it is great.  We are taught a sense of pride for our state at an early age.  I remember reciting both pledges of allegiances to the American and Texas flags in elementary school.  I also have vivid memories learning about Sam Houston and battle at The Alamo in my 7th grade Texas history class.  After getting married almost three years ago, I cried at the DMV when they took away my Texas driver's license and replaced it with a Nebraska one. 

Call it what you will... I have heard from others that our "Texas pride" is often easily confused for arrogance and obnoxiousness.  Sometimes I feel like I can't go five steps without somebody nagging and teasing me (lovingly) about my origins.  Despite all of it, it is and will always be a part of who I am. 

Part of me feels a sadness that my child will not grow up in Texas.  I am not saying that growing up in Nebraska is a bad thing, but apart of me want my little Peanut to feel the emotional and instinctual connection that I have to Texas.  The good thing is that I will be doing my very best to make sure that my child has opportunities to learn about and experience Texas (it helps that my folks still live there).  And I don't care what everyone says up here (including my husband), but I am going to make damn sure that I have a little Longhorn fan.

Texas Flag

Lastly, it always comforts me to recognize that some of the same feelings of pride and honor I have for Texas, Adam has for Nebraska.  I consider my child very lucky to have the opportunity to be embraced by two states and the wonderful people that inhabit them.  So the next time that somebody cuts me off in while driving to work in Lincoln, instead of a obscene hand gesture, I will try to remember exactly why I moved to this wonderful state... to be with the man of my dreams and love of my life.  I can't think of a better way to grow up than in the presence of parents who love each other very much and want to share their histories with you.

Nebraska Flag