august is a time for remembrance

So, I am not going to lie, this month has really been hard. Maybe describing it as hard is an understatement. August has flat out SUCKED this year. Adam and I have experienced quite a bit of loss recently. We have lost and will always fondly remember three people in the month of August: Winifred Cather, Metta Burney, and Jim Adams. Elisabeth Kuber-Ross established the concept that we go through five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Though there is no specific order to experiencing Kuber-Ross's aspects of grief, I find that I am overwhelmed with feeling all of these at once (except maybe acceptance... I am still working on that one).

At the beginning of the month, AP's sweet grandmother, Winifred (Winnie) Cather, or as her great and grandchildren called her "Pooh", passed away at age 91. Winnie lived a wonderful life, doing everything she wanted to do. She also made some rocking quilts and rugs. She lived by the philosophy that "All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten", a guide to global leadership written by Robert Fulghum. I absolutely love that she lived by this idea. She was a pretty wise woman. Some of Fulghum's notions are: "Play fair", "Clean up your own mess", "Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody", "Flush", "Warm cookies and milk are good for you", "Take a nap every afternoon", "Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: the roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that", and "It is still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out in the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together." You can see all of these at http://www.peace.ca/kindergarten.htm and Fulghum's website, http://www.robertfulghum.com/

Beautiful Winnie in her youth

The family with Winnie at a Sunday gather in Sept. 2006

Winnie's 90th Birthday

On August 23, my sweet Granny, Metta Dasa Burney, passed away at the age of 92. This woman was amazing. Growing up in the depression, Granny raised and sold birds to help support her family. Her sheer will, determination, and intelligence allowed for her and my grandfather to build a successful business in Lamesa, Texas. Neither one of them had a college education. There are so many things that I admire about Granny - her faith in God, her individualism, her independence (she was still driving and living by herself when she died), and most importantly, her kindness and ability to love with all of her heart. I will cherish the memories of me going to visit her while I was in graduate school at UT. On my visits, she and I would spend our days together in the same room, often without saying much, just to be in each other's presence. I am so thankful for all of the gifts Granny has passed on to me. I am who I am today because of her.

Me with Granny and Nana (my dad's mom) in 1989

Mom and I with Granny on her 90th birthday

Granny and Granddaddy shortly after they married

On August 25, 2004, my father, Jim Adams, passed away at the at the age of 53. As many of you know, my father struggled with alcoholism for the majority of his life. Though his death was not joyous, it was a relief because it ended his battle with this terrible disease as well as the emotional and physical turmoil he experienced. Though my relationship with my father was not always positive, I have come to find peace in that and my experiences growing up with an alcoholic parent. By looking at me, many would say I'm my mother's daughter. Physically, we are very similar - same face, same blonde hair, same fair skin, same tone of voice, same gestures, etc... the list goes on. I get it, I'm Betsy's clone. However, lately I have been embracing the qualities I have inherited from my dad. Though not much physically (I did not get his height (6'4'') or dark brown hair), I find many aspects of my personality that I can only attribute to him. One quality we share is our love of music. Anything and everything. One of my most cherished possessions is my dad's record collection. Another strength we both possess is the ability to write (academically, anyway). We have both published papers that we wrote while in graduate school. Oh yeah, we both went to graduate school so I guess we are both kind of smart. Most importantly, I find that I have a kind heart like my father. I inherited his ability to have empathy and an open mind, qualities I will forever be grateful to him for. As for the physical stuff... I do have my dad's green eyes and double jointed fingers.

Dad catching a passing at a HS football game

Me and Dad

Mom and Dad